Life Talk: Should We Cry Because It's Over, Or Smile Because It Happened?
A popular and simple quote from Dr. Seuss that has had great power to shift our perspective. But, is it truly healing, or are we just putting a bandaid over a broken heart?
At this point in my life, I am coming head to head with ends to many chapters in my life simultaneously. My kids are entering new phases in their growth (in December I’ll officially be mom to a teenager, wow!). My parents are now in their 70’s. My first nephew will be starting high school this Fall. I recently lost my aunt who was basically like a second mother to me. I am putting a close to a big phase of my business, in order to focus more on one that suits me better. There are more to list, but you get the point.
Overall there are a lot of shifts and changes happening all around me, that force me to adapt no matter what. I have hit that threshold where I have to let go of the way things used to be, no matter how warm and cozy that was, and move on. I have no choice in the matter.
Perspective Changes Don’t Always Help
Needless to say, I have been milking these big changes in my head over the past few weeks. As much as I want to keep a positive perspective on these changes, I can’t do so 100%. So, this morning that famous quote from Dr. Seuss popped into my head:
It’s definitely a clever and smart quote that can help you cope with big shifts in your life. But is it truly a healing approach? Is it in our best interest to just snap our fingers, cling to a new perspective such as this one, and say we are okay now? In a way, I think this perspective may do more of a disservice to our growth than healing.
“Bandaids” Don’t Heal Humans
We are humans, and humans are emotional beings. We can’t move on from monumental phases of our lives, especially those that for so long made our hearts feel so extremely happy, full, and warm, at the snap of a finger. Of course, we are so grateful and happy we were given the opportunity to live these amazing phases and make all those memories, but we also have to give ourselves the proper time and grace to cope with the forced transitions into completely new life phases.
Essentially, these are breakups with what were once really incredible, blissful times in our lives. And as we get older, we have to do more of these “breakups” in our lives. One by one we build tougher skin to withstand these “breakups” or the closing of one chapter, into a next one.
The Mind and Heart Detox Process
It can be an exhausting process, but it helps to focus more on what you are gaining in your present and future, as opposed to what you lose from your past. But, be mindful during this process. It’s not a quick one. As the emotional being that you are, take time to sit with your feelings, reflect, cry if your heart wants to cry. Don’t swallow down your authentic reaction towards these shifts in your life. Feel them out one by one, and let it escape your body properly. By doing so, you will make adequate room in your mind and heart to welcome the new phase of your life with complete authenticity and sincerity. It won’t feel forced. It will become a natural event that feels much better than just clinging onto a new perspective (like the Dr. Seuss quote).
Our sadness, and anger are not meant to stay within us. We have to dispose of it properly. We can’t just let it sit, and then pile on joy and happiness on top of it. If we do that, the “joy” and “happiness” will never be authentic, and you’ll always feel like something is missing, but aren’t quite sure what it is. Just like our physical bodies need detoxification periods in order to be healthy and functioning properly, our soul needs detoxing too.
Not All Life Quotes Are Created Equal
So, know that it’s okay to ignore all those life and perspective quotes. Cry, scream, take a week off to be melancholy in your home or on a solo trip. But, whatever you do, feel it all out, let it all out, renew your heart and mind. And, when that new phase of life starts entering, it will feel so right and good.
